Big hello there to all the happy folks enthralled with the Tourbus Blog Tales as well as the adventurous foursome travelling down the world's highways. As most of the long time followers know, and certainly all of the family is aware, I could not let a post such as the previous go unchallenged.

First, as to the word "Brilliant." Yes this word is banned from my mother's vocabulary as she nearly killed the entire family one year during which she proclaimed her own brilliance following which nearly every member of the family was besieged by plague, misfortune, bankruptcy, natural disaster or other near fatal condition. That year was only topped by the year she proclaimed as the "Year of the Dansie," 2005-2006 as I recall. Yep, I paid the price for that one with a heart condition that landed me off work for nearly a year while being experimented on with various medications and surgeries, escaping with a slight slur, limp, near-sightedness, male pattern baldness and other general malaise and misfortune. I think Elisa was visited by a locust swarm that year, Jamie's car tried to commit suicide and I'm pretty sure we lost Bud to a travelling band of carnival workers. Thankfully he showed up the following year none the worse for the wear with nothing more than a few more unexplainable tattoos.

Second as to her cooking. I will allow the following photo to serve as inspiration.



Yep, frozen ground beef mixed with various dry ingredients resulted in various meals that all looked and tasted identical. Not once did I ever see anything that looked like the meal on the cover. I'm pretty sure it was a conspiracy launched by America's ground beef manufacturers, flour producers and Pyrex bakeware.

During the early years, I recall being drug to the old Fry's Grocery Store and being in awe at the entire isles devoted to various foodstuffs in white or yellow boxes with large black letters proclaiming their contents.



      

Yummy, Luncheon Loaf so evil it could only exist in black and white.

As far as staving off malnutrition, I'm pretty sure that's because dad taught us the basic food groups.

Butter
Anything fried in butter
Anything with butter in or on it
French toast with ketchup
Grilled cheese
Ice Cream - Square box - actual half-gallon (don't get him started about the new 1.75 quart containers)
Dehydrated potatoes
Cheese - with the mold cut off, because after all, what do you think cheese actually is.
Beef
Frozen Bon Bons - which we had to eat before we got home from the store or else they lost all nutritional value

So my word to the wise, don't visit mom when dad's not home. If you do, pack a lunch. I once saw my mother come home from the store with nothing but a six pack of bottled soda, hot dog buns and Excedrin claiming she went to find something for dinner. And no, we didn't have hot dogs at home.

I now return you to your regularly scheduled programming. - Scott

A NOTE FROM THE MOTHER -- LIES! ALL A PACK OF MADE UP HOKUM!   And! Don't you have better stuff to do with your time?    Mom