Okay, there is an actual explanation....

You know, a person ought to be able to have a little trouble in their life without being videotaped by the person who has been called upon to help (READ BIG BROTHER WICK)...


I'm not entirely sure how to proceed with my rebuttal here.  You'll remember that Barry is no longer with us -- he's not dead or anything -- he is cowboy-ing with Jay Wirig in the wilds of Utah - and believe you me if what we've heard so far is any indication there WILL be stories to tell about their exploits -- nevertheless, Barry is not here, he's there and I don't really want the first place he hears about here to be while he is there...I'm sure you all will understand.
Anyway, back at the Tourbus, we had terrible storms in Seattle last night:

Big thunder, lightening and buckets and buckets of rain...well, that was kind of a problem.  I ended up with a teeny, little flooding problem caused by -- wait -- I'm thinking --- a burglar who crept into the Tourbus and then failed to close the window behind him - yeah - that's it - a window opening burglar!!!


So, at any rate, I awoke to water -- hmmmm -- dribbling through the window behind the drivers seat and causing the carpet UNDER the couch to be -- uhhh -- dampish...Obviously there is a fairly urgent need to spring into action!  I grab every towel I have in the rig and, using the broom handle and the bbq tongs, begin to try to sop up the wetness.  This was necessary because I don't have long arms with which to reach behind the couch to the carpet. 


At one point Wick texts me (Gwen was getting her hair done): "What's happening"
Beth:  "I have a rain issue."
Wick: "Not good."
Beth: "Window open - wet - sopping up now." (Clearly hadn't realized about the window-opening burglar yet)
Wick: "Not good."
About 20 minutes later.....
Wick: "Need help?"
Beth: "Yep." 


About this point I've discovered a bit of a moisture spreading problem and have stripped the couch (which happens to be a fold-a-bed item) of its cushions, bedding and mattress.  Wick arrives with towels and, unfortunately, his camera.  By now I've pulled the fold-a-bed frame thingy out of the bed and off the teeny bit  wet carpet. Wick steps in to be helpful (what one would expect of a rescuer.)  After he reaches his giant long arms down behind the sofa for several minutes to soak up the dampness he needs a little rest (it was really hard work - sweat breaking kind of work actually - really - I was sweating). 
Now its my turn so I simply climb onto the fold-a-bed frame thingy where I'll be able to reach the carpet and WHANG! the whole thing just folds up on me.  This sucker literally opened up and ate me alive!  Initially it slammed me face down onto the canvas thing that hold the mattress. Honestly, it was like the jaws of death!  It was not a pretty picture and I must say I'm actually grateful that my rotten brother didn't forward that one to my idiot son.  Just sayin'....


Great! Now I'm trapped.  Trapped to the point that at one point I was wearing the dang bar like a thong - trust me, at my age you don't even want to think thong! Now most people could turn to their rescuer and say, "Hey, help me out of here would you?"  But, noooooo, I've got my brother as audience/rescuer/betrayer and what does he do?  Well, you've seen it...he whips out his ever-present camera and decides this would be an opportune moment to capture some vacation memories....


Just in case Barry does happen to see this before he gets back to Seattle....it only took a trip to WalMart, the purchase of a Bissell Green Machine and smallish fan to get everything back in tip top condition - really - it is fine.  Oh boy.  Great Scott!  I hope you're happy!  I didn't have my story straight before you spilled the beans.  Great! Word of honor though - its fine now.