DATELINE: Wednesday, July 7, 2010 St. Louis, MO

We high tailed it out of Nashville this morning - no telling what may have happened had there been another unexpected encounter with the little people.  It was a day of travel - which essentially means that Beth wasn't allowed out of the tourbus.  Barry was definately in the "we're making good time mode" and no amount of pleading about the various roadside attractions disuaded him from his quest through four, count 'em four states.  We made it through Tennessee, Kentucky, Illinois and finally into Missouri across the mighty Mississippi River with its beautiful view of the St. Louis Gateway Arch.  (There was no stopping there either.) 

This is the County Courthouse in Elizabethtown, Kentucky:The following link will connect you to the Wikpedia website so that you can learn about Elizabethtown, KY just like I did...by reading about it on the internet.  I was not allowed to stop at Elizabethtown - a place where my people have obviously gathered to celebrate my very existence!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elizabethtown,_Kentucky

Let the following conversation guide your judgement on this matter, dear readers:

ME:   Look!  Look!  There is a whole city called ELIZABETHTOWN!  We gotta stop there!

BARRY: What's there?   

ME: I don't know!  I didn't even know it existed!  We need to stop so I can at least get my picture by the sign!

BARRY: Is there a rest stop by the sign?  I could go potty. 

ME: Hey!  This is my town!  Clearly there are people here awaiting my visit.  Can we stop?

BARRY: (now feigning deafness)

ME: I'm going to report you to the family!

BARRY: (miraculously cured) What are they going to do?

ME (by Text to Wendi): Trouble in Paradise!  Barry just refused to get off the highway at ELIZABETHTOWN, KY!!           

WENDI (by Text to Beth):  Ooooohhhhh boy!

ME: (by Text to Wendi): Clearly my people await!

WENDI (by Text to Beth): Hahaha. Clearly if it were Barryland he would have stopped.

BARRY from the Helm: "Like there's any chance there's actually a Barryland!" (then a snulching sort of noise escaping his lips...)

WENDI ( by text in response to the report of Barry's reply): Its hidden away.  They all have such decorum in Barryland that they don't advertise...It might bother someone.

BETH (texting to Wendi after a snurfling noise from her mouth): Either that or they don't want to interfere when we are "making such good time..."

WENDI (by text to Beth): Ooooh ho ho!!!!

BETH (texting now to disloyal children): Dad won't get off the freeway so that I can go to ELIZABETHTOWN, KY!

ELISA ( texting to Beth): Probably best.  Its likely full of inbred midgets.

SCOTT (texting to Beth): I'm with Dad.  I can only imagine what a whole city of you would be like.

WICK and GWEN (texting to Beth): Sounds like the anniversary is over!

Barry's final offer:  "I'll stop anywhere you want, I just can't guarantee you'll be on the bus when I leave again..."

After much texted yelping and complaining about disloyalty and taking up of Barry's cause I get these two resplies, which knowledgeable readers will agree are both classic idiopathic predictable responses.

ELISA (texting to Beth): I don't think we are taking Dad's side so much as we are acknowledging years of experience traveling with him...

WENDI (texting to Beth): I, of course am always on your side -- unless there's food or he's looking at me.

Needless to say, for those of you who have stuck with me to the bitter end of this sad tale, I'm now captive in the Tourbus in a cement campground somewhere just outside of St. Louis, Missouri.